Transcript
April 18, 2011. The 16th Amendment makes very clear that income taxes are constitutional.
The 14th Amendment does not cover private actors or individuals. It only prevents state actors from discriminating. Non-discrimination laws covering employers and businesses are actually passed under Congress's Commerce Clause powers, not its 14th Amendment powers.
In a civil suit for battery (i.e. the victim suing you for money, rather than the government trying to throw you in jail), the standard is "preponderance of the evidence", not "beyond a reasonable doubt".
You don't have a constitutional right to jury trials for "petty" offenses. Baldwin v. New York, 399 U.S. 66 (1970).
The First Amendment only prevents Congress (and via the 14th Amendment, the states) from limiting freedom of speech. Facebook can ban you for being an ass just fine.
On a different note, I'd like to share this image of Thurgood Marshvole from Zoopreme Court. Is this not amazing? I think it's amazing.
Misconceptions
Caption: The income tax is unconstitutional.
Brown Rabbit tries to collect from Tort Bunny.
End of panel.
Caption: The 14th Amendment made it
illegal for people to discriminate.
Tort Bunny points to a sign saying "No douchebags allowed".
End of panel.
Caption: When someone sues you for kicking
him in the balls, he has to prove
beyond a reasonable doubt that it
wasn't an accident.
BATTERY!
Tort Bunny kicks Brown Rabbit in the balls.
End of panel.
Caption: You can demand a jury trial
when charged with speeding.
Tort Bunny runs Brown Rabbit down in a car.
End of panel.
Caption: The First Amendment protects your
right to be an ass on the Internet.
On Facebook, Brown Rabbit says: In the hospital. 32 stitches!
Tort Bunny replies: Brown Rabbit eats babies
and smells like poop. POOOPPPP!!!!!!!
To see who else thinks you're a total
douchebag (and win a free iPad), visit
tortbunnies.com/dbag.html.
End of panel.
Tort Bunny: And the Easter Bunny will bring you
chocolate if you eat your vegetables.
A Young Bunny That Looks Suspiciously Like Lucy: Really?
Tort Bunny: No, the Easter Bunny is a lie.
End of comic.
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