Transcript
April 11, 2011. My standard oral argument introduction goes something like this:
"Good morning your honors, and may it please the Court. My name is Andrew Fong, and I represent the petitioners in this case. I'd like to reserve five minutes for rebuttal. This case can be summed up in one word: Cheetos. Thank you your honors. I'd like to sit down now."
May It Please the Court
Tort Bunny (thinking): Okay, Tortious. You can do this.
Tort Bunny (thinking): Eye of the tiger. Eye of the--.
Evil Sammich Judge (off-panel): Counsel?
End of panel.
Evil Sammich Judge: We're waiting.
Tort Bunny (off-panel): Yes, your highness.
I mean, your honor.
End of panel.
Tort Bunny: Good evening.
Evil Sammich Judge (off-panel): It's 10 in the morning.
Tort Bunny: I mean good afternoon, and
may it lead you to a horse.
End of panel.
Tort Bunny: I mean, may I please some whores!
Tort Bunny: No, court! Court! May it please the
tort! My name is Courteous Bunny,
and I -- Tortious! I am not courteous.
End of panel.
Tort Bunny: I mean I am courteous, except -- I'm
sorry, I'm Tortious! But my name is who
my name is what I'm trying to get across
my three points this afternoon morning
before my prima facie case is I'd like
to reserve five minutes for a Red Bull.
Tort Bunny: My name is Tortious Rabbit,
and may I pee in my shorts.
End of panel.
Tort Bunny: I mean Bunny! Like Chubby Bunny.
Evil Sammich Judge (off-panel): Counsel, why--
Tort Bunny: CHUBBY BUNNY IS A FLUFFY BUNNY!
CHUBBAY BUNNAY! CHUHA BWUHAY!
End of comic.
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