Transcript
February 01, 2010. It's legally permissible to make multiple contradictory arguments. It may not be strategically sound, but it is legal. This example deals with multiple defenses, but you can also have multiple contradictory allegations in a complaint as well. See McCormick v. Kopmann, 161 N.E.2d 720 (1959), where the plaintiff alleged both (1) that her husband was not contributorily negligent in a car accident which took his life and (2) that if he was, it was because a bar had let him drive drunk.
In the Alternative
Judge (off-screen): Tort Bunny, Brown Rabbit alleges
that you intentionally kicked him
in the balls. Your response?
Tort Bunny: I do no kick
others in the
balls.
End of panel.
Tort Bunny: In the alternative,
I only kick them
in the balls when
they totally have
it coming.
End of panel.
Tort Bunny: In the alternative,
Negligent Lop kicked
Brown Rabbit in the
balls, not I.
Tort Bunny: In the alternative,
Brown Rabbit
has no balls.
End of panel.
Tort Bunny: In the alternative, I did
kick him the balls
and there's nothing you
can do about it!
Tort Bunny: Because I am a
MASTER NINJA!
End of panel.
Tort Bunny throws a smoke grenade.
End of panel.
Smoke obscures everything! Blindness!
End of panel.
The smoke clears.
We see Tort Bunny's ears sticking out
from behind a desk.
Judge (off-screen): Were you supposed to
vanish? Because I ...
uh ... I can still see you.
Tort Bunny: In the alternative, I am a
Master Ninja in training.
End of comic.
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