Transcript
June 11, 2012. Previously on Tort Bunnies.
The 6th Amendment guarantees a criminal defendant the right "to confront the witnesses against him," which generally means the right to cross-examine the prosecution's witnesses.
Can using a laser against someone be battery? I think so. Battery requires "harmful contact." Direct contact isn't required. Indirect contact -- e.g. throwing a ball at someone -- is sufficient. Even fine particulate matter -- e.g. smoke -- constitutes enough physical contact to be battery. Lasers emit photons, which are particles with mass (also waves, but whatever). Therefore, you can commit battery by laser vision.
Update: Or maybe not -- see Jamie's comment below.
Confrontation
Judge (off-panel): Superbunny, you are charged with
one count of battery by laser vision.
Superbunny: Ridiculous! I demand my constitutional
right to confront the witnesses against me.
End of panel.
Brown Rabbit appears as the witness.
Superbunny lases Brown Rabbit with her eyeballs.
BATTERY?
End of panel.
Brown Rabbit is on fire and runs out the door.
End of panel.
Superbunny: No further questions, your honor.
End of comic.
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